I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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