He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
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