just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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