I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
