Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
