how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
