Where is the hickey?
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
