Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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