cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
