i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
