Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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