first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
