i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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