STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
