it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
