fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
