Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just blew my weed a kiss
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
