just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize