you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm having to shit out rocks
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
