it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
