Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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