the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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