One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
