So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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