You're my little dorito
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
