what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
