The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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