Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Is it because I queefed?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
