real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
How external is "for external use only"?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize