Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
