You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
