rhymes with "ouble enetration"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
