Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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