I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
he shaved USA in his pubs
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
