you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We left the knife in your bed.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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