did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
