And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Is Oprah even human
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
