what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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