Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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