did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm too high and old for this...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
