i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
