You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
