hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
