I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
