the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
