it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
