just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
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