Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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