But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
