Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
