mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Dignity is for republicans.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
