ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I think I sprained my soul last night
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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