Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
