She just used a chaser for red wine.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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