HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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