Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize