For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
