Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
