If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
