so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I need to align my fucking chakras
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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