I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
